Do you sometimes want to know the answer to something, or the outcome of a situation, right NOW?   Do you sometimes rush to get a project, or an errand, done?  Do you sometimes walk as if you are walking through a bad neighborhood when you are not?  In your hurry, do you sometimes break a dish, make a mistake, or feel anxious?  

In a Hurry…in a Worry?

When you are in a hurry, it is likely that worry, or another negative emotion, is present.  I’m not talking about the “I have 10 minutes to get to my appointment” hurry where the root cause is typically a time management issue (see “Time Management & Time Consciousness”).  I’m talking about self-imposed hurry that comes from an emotional or mental place.  Examples include “I need to work faster (to be/feel valued)” or “I need to have the answer now (to be/feel in control).”

Perhaps you are in a hurry to talk to someone, to state your “case”, to produce a result, to get an answer, or to know why something did or didn’t happen.  This type of hurry comes from a place of fear, desire to control someone or something, or anxiety. 

“Do not be in a hurry to tie what you cannot untie.” Proverb

“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.  Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.”  St. Francis de Sales

What is Going on?

What are we really doing when we are in a hurry?  Maybe we should look at what we are not doing when we are in a hurry.  We are not in acceptance, we are not living in the present moment, we are not patient, we are not trusting, and we are not calm or patient.  Being in a hurry does not yield the best decisions, outcomes or relationships.  Your best decisions and outcomes are typically realized when you are calm, accepting, and patient.  Please see “Acceptance and Patience.”

“No one can get inner peace by pouncing on it.”  Harry Emerson Fosdick

Life = Experiences

We are the sum of our experiences, so why rush through your life experiences?  If you want the future to be now, then you are missing the experience of the present; essentially, you are missing your life. 

Sometimes it is best to take the slow road and enjoy the ride, the scenery, and your fellow travelers.

Very Smart Girls pause when they find themselves in a hurry.

I would love to hear your thoughts. 

photo credit: fatboyke (Luc)

Related posts:

1. Acceptance and Patience

“Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

On my way to write an article about patience I discovered a significant prerequisite for peace of mind and patience – acceptance.  After all, how can you be patient if you don’t acknowledge and accept what is present in your life?  When you resist or judge reality your outer world will reflect your inner discomfort.

Acceptance versus Chaos

Try this.  Say the word acceptance out loud.  Do you feel a sense of peace, grace and relief?  Acceptance rides on the calming energy of knowing that everything is exactly as it should be.  The opposite is to believe that life is haphazard and chaotic; this belief will not lead to patience, peace of mind and joy.  Accept what is.  Better yet, embrace what is.

Acceptance is a Choice- Your Choice

Your current life situation may not be your preference, and you may want to change things in your life; however, you must start with accepting what is present.  Acceptance is not apathy.  It is a choice and the choice is yours to make.  Specifically, do not judge yourself, others, what is present in your life or the world in which we live.

Non-judgmental acceptance is a prerequisite for patience, calmness, happiness and successful personal and professional relationships. 

Acceptance is a strong branch to perch on, especially in high winds.  Very Smart Girls accept without exception.

Quotes on Acceptance and Patience

∞ “Happiness can exist only in acceptance.” Eleanor Roosevelt

∞ “Our entire life consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are.”  Jean Anouilh

 ∞ “Accept yourself as you are.  Otherwise you will never see opportunity.  You will not feel free to move toward it; you will feel you are not deserving.”  Maxwell Maltz

∞ “To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad. It seems almost paradoxical, yet when your inner dependency on form is gone, the general conditions of your life, the outer forms, tend to improve greatly.” Eckhart Tolle

 ∞ “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.  I will meet you there.” Rumi

 ∞ “Patience is the companion of wisdom.”  Saint Augustine

 ∞ “A man who is the master of patience is the master of everything else.” George Savile 

∞  “He that can have patience can have what he will.”  Benjamin Franklin

∞ “The years teach much what the days never know.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

photo credit: John A Ryan

As always, comments welcome!

Related posts:

1. Quotes about Acceptance
2. In a Hurry…In a Worry?

You’re going to breathe all day anyway, so why not make the best of it?  Studies show, and eastern cultures have known for centuries, that proper breathing habits can increase calmness. And the great news is that you have personal control of your breathing habits, you can practice rain or shine, and it’s free!

The Power of your Breath 

Here’s one way to look at the power of your breath.  You can live weeks without food. You can live days without water. You cannot live at all without breathing (oxygen).  Breathing provides life, so it makes sense that the better you breathe, the better you live.

In addition to facilitating calmness, studies show that effective breathing habits can reduce stress, help relax your mind and body, increase your energy level and improve general well-being. 

“A healthy mind has an easy breath.” Author unknown
“He lives most life whoever breathes most air.” Elizabeth Barrett Browning
“Smile, breathe and go slowly.” Thich Nhat Hanh

Breathing is Not an Option and that is a very good thing.

Breathing Techniques

Since the concept of proper breathing is not new, there are many educational resources available to you including books, videos, DVDs, CDs and workshops.  Also, many yoga and meditation classes include a conscious breathing component. 

I practice diaphragmatic (abdominal) breathing because, for me, it’s effective and easy to remember.  Basically, I breathe like a baby or young child – deeply, slowly and fully.  I know I am breathing effectively when my stomach is relaxed and it moves and out with my breath; my stomach expands when I breathe in and contracts when I breathe out.

Let’s look at the opposite of deep breathing.  Have you ever noticed how shallow and fast you breathe when you are angry, upset or anxious?

“Barking dogs do not breathe deeply.” Jo-Ann Downey (me)

Practice When it’s Easy

Examples of when it may be easier to practice include: 

• when you first wake up
• in the shower
• driving
• on an airplane, bus, subway or train
• taking a walk
• sitting in a meeting at work
• doing a hobby
• waiting for appointments
• standing in line

Please refer to “2 Essential Guidelines to Create a New Habit” and “Practice When it’s Easy” for additional tips.

Breathing Habits from Others

Be careful not to pick up the breathing habits of others.   Be aware if someone is breathing in a shallow or rapid fashion.  It’s easy to unconsciously mirror their behavior, so be careful.  On the other hand, if you are breathing deeply and fully, they may just follow your lead.

Very Smart Girls know that Breathing is Not an Option, so breathe for your highest benefit.

I’m interested in your thoughts- comments welcome.

photo credit: Wooooody

Related posts:

1. Take a Hike…Really!
2. In a Hurry…In a Worry?

Do you want to live more in the moment, but don’t know exactly how to do it?  Have you heard that living in the moment can bring you more calmness and joy?  Would you like to live less in the past, less in the future, or both?  One practical way to be present is to stop comparing.  

Being Present versus Comparing

When you compare, versus when you observe, you are not fully present.

If you sit on a friend’s couch and think “this couch is nicer than my couch”, then you are comparing versus truly enjoying your experience, or being present in the moment. In a subtle way, you are thinking about your past experiences on your couch.   If you think “this is a nice couch” then you are more present.

Read these thoughts again and notice how you feel:
“This couch is nicer than my couch”
“This is a nice couch”

Were you calmer, and perhaps more joyful, when you read the second thought?

Comparing and Judgments

When you compare, you are often in judgment of yourself, others, circumstances, feelings or experiences.  Comparing usually makes something better or worse than something else. 

Think about how much time you spend comparing and judging.  What would your day, your life, look and feel like if you were 100% present to what is- without judgments or comparisons?  Would you be more present? Would you be calmer?

Preferences

Preferences are fine; we all have preferences.  I acknowledge you if you aspire to make positive changes in your life.

If your preference is to have an organized office and you see an office that is organized, you may think “what a wonderful, organized office. I’m going to look around for some tips.”  Or you may think “this office is organized and my office is dismal.”  There you are again – back in your messy office.

Comments welcome!

photo credit:  Dolorix