The health of your friendships effects your overall health and wellness. As shared in “What is Wellness?”, being your best possible self – physically, mentally, and emotionally –  is what wellness means to me.  Step away from the computer, leave work on time, schedule “friend time” on your calendar….friends are an important part of life and are good for your health.  Studies show that friendships prolong life and promote brain health as we age!

Benefits of Friendships

∞ Moral support and encouragement
∞ Fun, adventure & a variety of life experiences
∞ Social interaction  
∞ Source of information and wisdom
∞ Problem solving assistance
∞ Increased self-esteem
∞ Sense of belonging and purpose
∞ Better ability to manage stress
∞ Healthy habit role models and support system
∞ Opportunity to share and expand your accomplishments and joys
∞ Assistance during challenging times

Good friends are good for your physical, mental, and emotional wellness. In fact, just knowing that you have friends is beneficial to you. 

∞ “We do not so much need our friends’ help that helps us, as the confident knowledge that they will help us.”  Epicurus (BC 341-271)

Step Away from the Computer!

To have good friends, you need to be a good friend.  In today’s hectic world you need make a commitment to spend quality time with friends.  In doing so, your intentions and attitude (“When your Relationships are Good, your Life is Good”), your listening skills (“Silence is Golden…and Pauses are Too”), how you see others (“Seeing from your Heart”), and focusing on open-ended questions (“Open-Ended Questions Build Relationships”) are essential communication skills.    

Choose your Friends Well

Not all friends are good for you. If someone causes more stress in your life, only connects with you to complain or when they need help (“bad weather friends”), or participates in unhealthy behaviors, then you need to reconsider your friendship.  Friends support each other through difficult times, however, joy should be present.  Good friendships are a two-way street and the ability to give and receive feedback in a healthy way is essential for long term, positive friendships. 

Quotes about Friendship

∞  “ I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all things granted us by wisdom, none is greater or better than friendship.”  Pietro Aretino (1492-1556)

∞ “ Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit.” Aristotle (BC 384-322)

∞ “ Friendship makes prosperity more brilliant, and lightens adversity by dividing and sharing it.” Cicero (BC 106-43)

∞ “True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.” Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832)

∞ “ The only way to have a friend is to be one.” Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

∞ “ No man is useless while he has a friend.” Robert Louis Stevenson (1850-1894)

Very Smart Girls know that good friends are good for your health.
Very Smart Girls know that you need to be a good friend to have good friends.

Comments welcome!

photo credit: Ed Yourdon

Related posts:

1. Open-Ended Questions Build Relationships
2. What is Wellness?

There is a lot more to gratitude than meets the eye.  Studies show that people who have an attitude of gratitude have higher levels of well-being (physical and emotional), are happier, less stressed, more satisfied with their lives, have more effective coping skills, grow from difficult experiences, experience more successful outcomes, and even sleep better.  Gratitude seems to be a uniquely powerful trait.

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” Cicero (106 BC- 43 BC)

Definition of Gratitude

Gratitude is the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful for something that you perceive to be beneficial to you; gratitude does not include feelings of entitlement, indebtedness or something you experience because you earned it.

The feeling of gratitude is pure, still, peaceful and always available to you.  For example, you can drive down the road and choose to feel grateful for the mountains, the trees, and the people who built the road you are driving on. Gratitude can be a path to happiness, although gratitude is not happiness.  

Authentic Gratitude

Have you ever experience something that you judged to be bad for you only to later find out that it was a blessing? What if you choose to live in complete acceptance and gratitude for everything in your life?  You may be in difficult situation, however, are you willing to choose to be grateful for the opportunity to handle the situation with grace, ease, and compassion for yourself and others?  Are you willing to be grateful for the opportunity to do better than you did the last time you were in a difficult situation? 

Authentic gratitude is independent of circumstances or situations.  Are you willing to be in acceptance and gratitude when the road does not appear to be smooth, or perfect? For more information about acceptance, see “Acceptance and Patience”.  

Elements of Gratitude & the Secret Sauce

Gratitude is intentional and has elements of acceptance, being present in the moment, and realizing that you have choices.  The secret sauce to feeling gratitude is to consciously, and specifically, acknowledge the source of your gratitude.  It is thinking “I am grateful for the people that labored to build this road” versus “I am glad this road is here.”  You can be thankful for specific people, for people that you don’t know, for mother nature, or for what you believe is the source of your gratitude.

Giving versus Receiving Gratitude

A common way to look at gratitude is on the receiving side; the other side is the giving side.  One of the easiest ways to give gratitude is to say a heartfelt “thank you” to others in both personal and professional situations.  When you are grateful, you are compassionate, positive, and helpful… and more likely to experience more positive outcomes.

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was “thank you,” that would suffice.” Meister Eckhart (1260-1328)

A great way to give gratitude is to volunteer which is an act of being grateful for other human beings and, coincidentally, also has wellness effects.  For more information see “The Volunteer Wellness Effect”.

“There are two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we receive, and the larger kind we feel for what we give.”  Edward Arlington Robinson (1869-1935)

Very Smart Girls intentionally choose to be grateful in all situations.

Comments welcome!

photo credit: pfly

Related posts:

1. Quotes about Gratitude
2. In a Hurry…In a Worry?

Your body, your thoughts, and your feelings are interrelated.  For example, if you are scared, your heart tends to race and your thoughts may be limited or not as clear as they usually are.  How can you utilize this information?  What can you do for optimal physical, mental and emotional wellness? Take a hike. 

Why take a Hike?

Considering that the physical, mental and emotional parts of yourself are connected, which of these three variables may be easier for you to change right now?  Often, it is more straightforward to engage in physical activity than it is to change your feelings or your mental attitude. 

Studies show that exercise releases endorphins in your brain which results in what is commonly called a “natural high” or “runners high.”  The positive mental and emotional effects of taking a hike, or a walk, can be immediate.  

 “To keep the body in good health is a duty…otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”  Buddha

Physical Activity

You do not have to exercise rigorously to experience the benefits of nurturing yourself on the physical level.  Other ideas include stretching, taking a gentle walk, yoga, tai chi, meditating, acupressure, dancing or getting a massage. You may want to “warm up” by eating healthy or drinking plenty of water, which are physical nurturing activities. 

For many, walking or hiking in nature is more calming than working out indoors.  Although connecting with others who have a common interest, such as in a yoga class, is great too. Experience different things and do what works for you.

Breathe Deeply

I cannot say enough about the benefits of deep breathing.  As shared in “Breathing is Not an Option”, you’re going to breathe all day anyway, so why not make the best of it?  Studies show, and eastern cultures have known for centuries, that proper breathing habits can increase calmness. And the great news is that you have personal control of your breathing habits, you can practice rain or shine, and it’s free!

My 2010 intention is to easily, gracefully, and joyfully breathe deeply each day. 

I welcome your thoughts.

photo credit: funkgirldeluxe

Related posts:

1. Breathing is Not an Option
2. What is Wellness?

Doctors and scientists agree that people who volunteer are more likely to be happier and healthier than people who don’t volunteer.  Serving others awakens, energizes and exercises your heart both physically and, most importantly, emotionally.  We exercise our minds and muscles, so why not exercise the qualities that come from your heart such as kindness, compassion and joy?  An effective way to exercise your heart-center is to volunteer.

The Power of Service- 2 Nobel Award Recipients

“The only ones among you who will be really happy are those that have sought and found how to serve.”  Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965, Nobel Peace Prize)

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.” Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941, Nobel Prize for Literature)

Survey on the Health Benefits of Volunteering

According to the 2007 Corporation for National & Community Service report entitled The Health Benefits of Volunteering- A Review of Recent Research:  

∞ “Those who engage in volunteer activities are less likely to suffer from ill health later in life and may be introduced into a positive reinforcing cycle of good health and future volunteering.”
∞  “Some of these findings also indicate that volunteers who devote a “considerable” amount of time to volunteering (about 100 hours per year) are most likely to exhibit positive health outcomes.”
∞ “Research demonstrates that volunteering leads to better health and that older volunteers are the most likely to receive physical and mental benefits from their volunteer activities.”

Ways to Volunteer or Serve     

∞ Donate your time
∞ Make a monetary contribution
∞ Donate blood
∞ Purchase products and services from organizations that support charitable causes
∞ Dine/shop in places that support food banks
∞ Proactively & consciously send positive thoughts to another person or to a group of people
∞ Random acts of kindness- smiling, joyfully providing driving directions to someone        

Volunteer Wellness – The Chicken or the Egg?

It’s not clear if happier and healthier people tend to volunteer, or if volunteering makes you happier and healthier.  From my perspective, it doesn’t matter, just jump in.  You may want to start a volunteer journal and capture your feelings, mental attitude and experiences after you volunteer.  

Or warm up to it- observe others and see how you feel.  In the photograph, did you notice the woman smiling as she observes the couple helping the elderly man?

The Volunteer Secret Sauce

As discussed in “When your Relationships are Good, Your Life is Good”, your attitude and intentions assist to create the best outcome. Are you serving from an ego perspective, or out of guilt?  It is best to serve authentically.  I often use this service intention:  It is my intention to serve with skill, joy, grace and ease for the highest good of all concerned.

The secret sauce, for me, is to serve as if no one is watching; to come and go without the need for anyone to know I was there. The higher your serving consciousness (in other words, the less your ego is involved), the greater the wellness effect for others…and for you.

Very Smart Girls volunteer and energize their heart-center.

I’m interested in your thoughts.  Comments welcome.

photo credit: Ed Yourdon

Related posts:

1. What is Wellness?
2. Take a Hike…Really!
3. The Measure of a Man

Being your best possible self – physically, mentally and emotionally –  is what wellness means to me.  It is about having a personal commitment and practice to be physically, mentally and emotionally conscious and optimized. One facet does not overshadow another; they are all important.

Physical, Mental and Emotional Wellness Ideas

Ways to be physically optimized may include exercising, eating nutritious meals or taking vitamins.  Ways to be mentally optimized may include having positive thoughts or repeating a mantra to yourself.  On the emotional level, you can take the time to feel your feelings or maturely expressing your feelings to others. 

Double and Triple Wellness Dipping

Let’s take the practice of getting a good night’s sleep.  You might first think of the physical benefits of being rested, however, there are mental and emotional benefits as well.  You are likely to think more clearly and to be more relaxed after a good night’s sleep.  This is a triple dip!

What about dancing with others?  This can be a double or triple dip as well.  You are moving around and getting physical exercise, you may be emotionally connecting to others (and perhaps the music), and you may be mentally repeating positive lyrics.

Quotations on Wellness

• “Wellness is generally used to mean a healthy balance of the mind, body and spirit that results in an overall feeling of well-being.” Wikipedia
• “Wellness can be described as a state that combines health and happiness. Thus those factors that contribute to being healthy and happy also will be contributing to being well.” Wikipedia
• “The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.” Abraham Maslow

Wellness- Beyond the Traditional

I have experienced non-traditional, or alternative, wellness practices such as yoga, meditation and sound healing.  I look forward to sharing these and other wellness ideas with you.

Please share your wellness tips.

Comments welcome!

photo credit: Mike Baird

Related posts:

1. The Volunteer Wellness Effect
2. Take a Hike…Really!
3. Friends are Good for your Health