5 Tips on How to Listen Effectively

by Jo-Ann Downey

in Relationship Communication Skills

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When you are talking, or thinking about what you are going to say, you are not 100% open to hear and connect with the person you are with.  Effective listening skills foster positive and productive personal and professional relationships.

5  Tips of How to Listen Effectively

1)       Close your mouth!

You cannot talk with your mouth closed.  As discussed in “Silence is Golden…and Pauses are Too”, saying nothing is saying a lot. Silence says that you are open to being 100% present in the moment, open to learning, and open to truly understanding the other person’s ideas, feedback, input, thoughts and feelings; it says that you are open to the positive development of the relationship.

2)      Listen through the eyes and ears of kindness and compassion.

As discussed in “Seeing from your Heart”, to truly connect with someone is to see them as a whole and perfect human being, as someone who is always doing their best.  To do this, you must feel kindness, compassion, appreciation and reverence for the person…and to do that, you need to get out of your head and into your heart where these feelings reside.

3)      Listen as if you might never have the opportunity to hear that person speak again.

4)      Be present- take your judgment glasses off.

As shared in “An Effective Way to be Present- Do Not Compare”, think about how much time you spend comparing and judging.  What would your day, your life, your relationships, look and feel like if you were 100% present to what is- without judgments or comparisons?  Would you be more present? Would you have more patience and compassion?

5)      Be mindful of nonverbal communications- yours and theirs.

As shared in “The 93% Impact of Nonverbal Communication”, to truly hear someone is to also listen and acknowledge their silent messages.

Very Smart Girls listen with their mouths closed and their hearts open.

“The first duty of love is to listen.” Paul Tillich (1886-1965)

photo credit: incurable hippie

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