Comments on: Feelings are Non-Negotiable

By: Jo-Ann Downey

Jo-Ann Downey — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 19:49:32 +0000

Sandra,
I wholeheartedly agree! Emotional intelligence, emotional maturity and emotional mastery are vital components to successful relationships with yourself and with others. For those interesting in learning more, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman is a good book.

By: Sandra Dupont - Teen Therapist

Sandra Dupont - Teen Therapist — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 18:48:44 +0000

I agree with Ryan, that generational (and cultural) gaps can leave people questioning the validity of each other’s feelings. It’s not uncommon for parents, particularly those born in another culture, to find their teenager’s behavior confusing and even disturbing. When it comes to creating healthy relationships, Emotional Intelligence may be even more important than a high IQ. Self-reflection is an important tool for detoxifying troubling or negative experiences and cultivating Emotional Intelligence. Reflection allows you to figure out what about the situation is unpleasant, to understand why, and then to come up with possible ways of dealing more effectively with similar experiences in the future. It’s vital that parent and teenagers understand their world, and not merely react to it.

By: Jo-Ann Downey

Jo-Ann Downey — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 01:46:38 +0000

Roxanne,
Thank you for pointing out that how we express our feelings (maturely) is very important. Not easy to do at times, but important.

By: Roxanne

Roxanne — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 21:49:37 +0000

Jo-Ann,
Loved this article and how very true. It is a nice feeling when you can be honest about your feelings and not be judged for them. I like that you said “maturely sharing your feelings” because I think it is also sometimes the way the feelings are expressed.
Nice job once again

By: Jo-Ann Downey

Jo-Ann Downey — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 02:48:46 +0000

Marc,
I never thought about that aspect. It’s so true. Thank you!

By: Marc

Marc — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 02:42:18 +0000

Jo-Ann:

I like how my self-esteem increases when I take responsibility for my feelings.

By: Jo-Ann Downey

Jo-Ann Downey — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:08:19 +0000

Ryan,
Thank you, you Super Smart Guy! We are all doing our best each day

By: Jo-Ann Downey

Jo-Ann Downey — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:06:46 +0000

Thank you for your support and feedback. It’s so easy to look outside for what is really going on inside

By: Ryan Malone

Ryan Malone — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 18:40:10 +0000

Hi JD –

I am neither smart (heh) nor a woman, but you are spot on with your article. If found this especially true when dealing with people who have large generational gaps between them. You may never *understand* what they are going through, so you have to take their feelings for granted. Not that I am always able to put this into practice, but I am getting there

By: tinque

tinque — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 17:08:17 +0000

nice article…”You are only responsible for your feelings. ” SO true…
xxoo