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Forgiveness Series: Observing Where You Are Coming From

by Jo-Ann Downey

in Relationship Communication Skills

Are you aware of the nature of your thoughts and beliefs?  Are you seeing through judging eyes or through eyes of understanding and kindness?

Where Are You Coming From?

“Life consists of what a person is thinking all day long.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Do you believe that you and others are truly doing their best? As shared in “Seeing from your Heart”, when you see someone primarily with “thinking eyes” you tend to do things like compare, contrast, project past experiences into the future, play old stories in your head, insert your own preferences and judge. You are likely to want to take action and/or control or fix someone or something. To see someone as a whole and perfect human being, as someone who is always doing their best, you must feel kindness, compassion, appreciation and reverence. To do that, you need to get out of your head and into your heart where these feelings reside. You need to see from your heart.

When you see from your heart you will be more present to the possibility that you really don’t know all the variables present.  In that consciousness you are more likely to be more accepting and peaceful, trust more, be less judgmental, and reduce the need for forgiveness.

Start With Yourself

Take a look at how much you judge yourself, your life, and your decisions.  Does your day start with thoughts like I am lazy because I want to stay in bed, I bought the wrong mattress,  I picked out the wrong bathroom tile, my hair is so dry that I need to use this special shampoo, my skin is not as soft as others, etc.?  And you are barely out of the shower!

The Power of Self-Observation

Observing your judgments can make you aware of how much you judge, what you judge, and how much of your life’s energy you put into judging. Be careful not to judge yourself for your judgments!

Sometimes consciously, authentically, and neutrally observing something, in this case judgments, can cause a shift in you.

“Self-observation brings man to the realization of the necessity of self-change.  And in observing himself a man notices that self-observation itself brings about certain changes in his inner processes.  He begins to understand that self-observation is an instrument of self-change, a means of awakening.”   George Gurdjieff (~1866-1949)

You may want to read “Forgiveness Series: Categorizing and Judging” and “Quotes about Forgiveness.”

photo credit: marimoon

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