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Forgiveness Series: Why I Am Stuck & What Does Meditation Have To Do With It?

by Jo-Ann Downey

in Relationship Communication Skills

I seek in my life and want to share powerful and practical ways to fulfill my tagline: Practical Skills, Tools, and Wisdom to Build your Best Life™.  My intention is to communicate in a universal, actionable, fun, memorable, thoughtful, and non-controversial way- a way, I hope, that will stand the test of time. It is important for me to have real-life experiences about what I share in Very Smart Girls.  I brainstorm, read, experience, ponder, and develop my perspective- not necessarily in that order!

For example, I wrote “There is No Such Thing as a Table for Two” based on a profound experience I had when I approached a hostess to ask for a table for two. Before I spoke, I noticed that my friend was already at a table.  As I glanced at my friend, and then back at the hostess, I experienced a keen awareness that my friend and I are so multidimensional that the concept of a table for two was funny- that there was no such thing as a table for two.  On this particular day, there was a part of me that was joyful, and a part of me that was concerned about a mutual friend.  My friend was happy at work, and upset about some health challenges.

Why I am Stuck

I started the Forgiveness Series (“Categorizing and Judging”) with the concept that the need to forgive begins when you create judgments such as making someone (yourself or others), or something, wrong or bad.

I went on to write three other blogs in the series and then I got stuck.  I believe I am stuck because I want to have more experience with unconditional forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness.  Also, I discovered that forgiveness is a difficult topic to address in a universal, inclusive, and non-controversial way.

What Does Meditation Have To Do With It?

I accepted that I was stuck, chose to be gentle with myself (why add self-judgments?), and decided to be patient (“Acceptance and Patience”).  Then, while working out at the gym (“Take a Hike…Really”), I had an epiphany.  I thought, “Hey, I don’t judge when I meditate because I am still regardless of what is going on around me.  If I don’t hear anything (take in outside noises into my meditation stillness), I don’t judge what I hear.  When my eyes are closed, I don’t judge what I see because my eyes are closed! Wow.  When I shut off, or calm, my senses to external stimulation, I shut off my usual judgment portals.”

Then I thought, “Mediate more. Simply meditate more and give you senses a break.  And when you use  your senses, use your senses wisely!”

My Plan

As shared in “Practice When it’s Easy”, I will proactively do my best to create favorable conditions to practice and succeed. For  me, for now, that is through my meditation practice.  My intention is to easily, naturally, and gracefully experience peace and calmness in my meditation practice and carry this feeling throughout the day.  As shared in “Breathing is Not an Option”, I will focus on diaphragmatic/belly breathing.

For reference, “Forgiveness Series: Categorizing and Judging”, “Forgiveness Series: Observing Where You Are Coming From”, “Forgiveness Series: Why Forgive?”, Forgiveness Series: Quotes about Forgiveness”.

photo credit: marimoon

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