Have you noticed that even if something in your life is not going well, when your relationships are good, you feel better and more complete in the world? When your relationships are good, your life is good. The great news is that you control 2 powerful relationship skills- your attitude and your intentions.
Relationship Skill: Positive Attitude
There are almost 7 billion people in the world. Yes, 7 billion. The land mass of earth is 45 million square miles. The fact that you are in the same place, at the same time, with a particular person is an extraordinary occurrence. Be conscious of how remarkable it is to be with the person you are with.
Go into every encounter with another person with positive attitude- a willingness, a state of mind and a vision for a constructive outcome. Bring forward your supportive and constructive qualities – love, joy, compassion, kindness, patience, honesty, respect and gratitude. Bring forward these qualities in service to yourself and the other person.
“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” Dalai Lama
Relationship Skill: Set Clear Intentions
An intention is a clear and positive statement of an outcome you want to experience. Your intentions guide your thoughts, attitude and actions; therefore, your intentions influence the outcome of your desired experience. Don’t leave intentions up to chance!
Before you meet someone, or talk to someone on the telephone, take a few seconds and silently create an intention. If you are comfortable stating your intention to the other person, great. Formulate your intention in a proactive and positive (versus negative) way; express what you want to experience versus what you don’t want to experience.
An example of a negative intention: It is my intention not to get mad at my friend during lunch today. The positive would be: It is my intention to be lovingly present with my friend during lunch today.
Below are some relationship intentions for your consideration:
∞ It is my intention to have positive thoughts, words and actions with my daughter today.
∞ It is my intention to easily and gracefully experience joy & connectedness with my co-workers.
∞ It is my intention to easily, calmly and gracefully share my feelings with my partner.
∞ It is my intention to be kind, no matter what, with everyone I am with today.
It is my intention to see the divine essence in everyone. I invite you to share a relationship intention and begin the process of experiencing it!
Comments welcome. The name you type in the comment section (for example, Jo-Ann, Jo-Ann Downey or Jo-Ann from Boston) will appear on the site. Your email address will NOT appear. If you provide a website URL (for example, your business or your blog URL), it will be linked to your name so others can learn more about you.
photo credit: mrvklaw
Related posts:
{ 8 trackbacks }
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
I really like this. Great idea to set intentions for regular, everyday interactions and not just for the “big” stuff. A great way to live conciously and to share your best with the people in your life.
I love this article. Relationships are very important to our well-being. This is a wonderful way to be proactive and positive when it comes to establishing healthy relationships. Consciously setting “relationship” intentions is something I will start doing in my own life.
Jo Ann,
Loved this one. I think that if you go into a situation or conversation with a negative attitude you seem to overlook the positive and can’t help but give off negative feelings.
I agree with you that when your relationship feels good, everything else seems to flow better even if things not as you might want them. (Men seem to feel better when their careers (missions) are going well though a loving wonderful relationship definitely eases any mission woes.)
I don’t know about the intention part though.
Going into any encounter, most especially with a beloved with “love, joy, compassion, kindness, patience, honesty, respect and gratitude.” as well as not having any expectations leaves room for curiosity and awe as well as the surprise in whatever transpires.
These “qualities” do bring “service to yourself and the other person. ” Yet going so far as to have intentions sounds to me like expectations, and having those will inevitably lead to disappointment.
Maybe I’m misreading you…
xxoo
tinque,
I truly appreciate your comment! I believe that going into encounters without being attached to the outcome is magical and it leaves room for outcomes that may even be higher than your intentions. Also, gracefully accepting what is present is key. To me, these are the major differences between intentions and expectations. It is a lot about the energy that you bring to your intentions- in other words, the intention of the intention! To me, an intention from the heart which rides on the energy of something that is for the highest good of all concerned sets the tone for not being attached to the outcome and opens the door for pleasant surprises!
Well I suppose then we’re saying the same things with varied individual meanings attached to the words. Which is why I asked if I was misreading, for the tone of your site belied what I misunderstood within semantics.
Having no attachment to any outcome is truly a win win situation, for whatever the outcome, it’s all good, and sometimes even sublime. Expectations would likely cause one to miss out on a beautiful exxperience.
xxoo
I agree- I believe we are highlighting, in our own way, the essence of the same belief! It is so nice to receive your input and I look forward to our future communications
I am definitely learning to use more open ended questions with my beloved teenager daughter, teens are very good subjects to practice;)!
i love the poem not judging people!!
thank you angel Jo-ann for this soulful work of yours!
LOVE,
Socorro
Socorro- thanks for highlighting the use of open-ended questions with teenagers!
I love this article! I completely agree that positivity and purpose are the best things people can bring to any social situation. It’s even more important in intimate relationships. Thanks for presencing these 2 simple, important attitudes that have certainly made a difference in my relationships.
Here’s a related article I think you will enjoy, “How to have a successful healthy relationship: Three essential ingredients”: http://www.erwandavon.com/relationship-blog/archives/228.
Check it out and let us know what you think!
Alison,
Thank you very much! I enjoyed your article as well- especially the focus on being “real”/100% present in relationships. My intention is to be easily and naturally 100% present in my loving with myself, others, and all situations and circumstances!